THREE D'S OF STRESS

Stress is a part of life. As long as we alive and breathing, stress will constantly be our greatest nemesis. Truth is, life is not that amazing without those stressful moments in our lives. Other people would say that stress is like an icing on the cake, however, sad to say, the icing does not taste good, right?

There are plenty of ways to combat stress. I'm sure that you have read some inspiring books that explain the therapeutic details of fighting stress. But do you realize that giving "how-to" advises can also be stressful? Anyone could give advise to make you feel good. Anyone could care for you but no one can give an accurate suggestion on how to combat stress. The only person who can assuage your stress impulses is you. You are the pilot of your plane; the creator of your fate, therefore, you must know how to control your stressful complicated life.

If you have read the sixth book of Harry Potter, you somehow recognize the three magical keywords there. The three magical keywords are destination, determination and deliberation. Maybe, you are now asking yourself what's the significance of these three keywords to stress.

Destination

Life is unpredictable. We don't know what will happen to us ten years from now. Thinking about our future is also a stressful reality we have to face. We sometimes question our existence. Why I'm alive? You can the next richest man in the world with millions of bucks in your bank account but do you know where you're heading?

Defining our destination could be the most stressful veracity of our lives. A single plan is really not enough to build the blocks our future. There are always risks behind our backs no matter what. Truth is, planning is like a computer database. We need to search, delete, update our goals everyday. There's no ideal plan, no easy goals either but there's always a way of utilizing our goals to know which destination we are heading to.

Determination

The power of positive thinking will be our armor in defeating stress. We become invincible only if we learned how to face our greatest fears. If we believe that we can fly, we can! I know it sounds trite but determination is the key to reach the paramount of our success.

Never believe in criticisms. Listen to them but never put it in your subconscious. Most criticisms are only made to stress us and these are created by insecure people who can't build a more meaningful life.

Some criticisms are made to reinforce our negative outlook in life, however, most of them are only made to put us down. That's why; we need to choose which one is good for us. The one which will help us grow. Life is 'bout choices anyway. The choices we generate each day are the common denominators that determines the prosperity of our success. And success is the only best revenge we can have to those people who belittle us!

Deliberation

The final step to combat our stress. Once we realize our destination in life, we generate concrete actions to reach our goals. These actions requires time. Take time. Think about it. Don't chase waterfalls just to reaching your goals. Take time in fulfilling it. Never give up. Just give it a nice try!

Fate is Behind Everything

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value: rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

- C.S. Lewis

How It All Began?

It took me nine years before I completely realize that I love Dianne. 

She and I were just friends before. During the third grade, I watched her when she unexpectedly won the "Linggo ng Wika" declamation contest against those students in Section A. 

During high school, I gave her gifts during her birthdays. Not only that, we talked a lot over the phone almost every night. 

I could not forget those intimate phone conversations we had. We talked about anything as if time was not running out. She made me laugh and I also made her laugh. 

The most awkward topic we talked about was when I revealed to her that her elder sister was my crush.

Love In Suppression

I could not forget the moment when she told me that, "Dean, bakit si ate palagi sadya mo sa akin? Nandito man ako. (Why are you always asking 'bout my sister when I'm here?) 

I was speechless upon hearing that. I just did not know what to say. Those words were nothing to me, but a sudden realization hammered inside me. 

Truth is, I started to like her from that moment on. I could not exactly understand why but I somehow felt torn between her and her sister.

However, I tried to shed away those feelings I have for her. She is my friend; I did not want to cross the line. 

There was no plausible reason why I should like and love her. 

I was just a passive aloof "disable" on one corner and she was like the Helen of Troy, who also happens to be the campus' crush. Not to mention, my best friend, Newton, had a crush on her.

Risks of Falling in Love

Dianne and I never had those phone conversations during college. We only saw each other twice. 

Luckily, we met each other during our friend's debut. There were questions I wanted to ask her, but I could not utter a single word.

We met again during her 18th birthday. I was happy to see her elder sister, but I felt that the sparks were gone. 

When it was time for "giving-of-treasures," I was melting with embarrassment when she hugged me after my impromptu speech. 

From that moment on, I seemed to realize that she was a part of me.

She was always on my mind every time my favorite songs were aired on the radio. She was occasionally in my dreams at night. Most of them were intimately unforgettable but I only ignored them. 

I was still in denial. I felt that it was the biggest forbidden secret I should keep for a lifetime. I rather suppress those obscure feelings than hurting her, one of the people closest to me. 

I did not want to hurt her, I did not want to hurt my best friend, and I could not have the strength to admit to myself that I am somehow falling for her.

There were lots of heartaches in my mind after college. Most of them were about my family. They're intoxicating me. 

To unleash my depression, I decided to improve my novel that I wrote during high school. I never had a plan of writing a love story, yet I could not understand the logic behind the love story I made. It was confusing, right? 

When I finished the draft, I suddenly realized that I missed Dianne. We were still texting each other and I felt overjoyed every time I received a text from her.

Christmas of 2006 came.

I was just sitting on my bed when I got an impulse to call her. 

I never knew why, but something magical was forcing me to call her. She finally answered her mobile phone after 30 seconds. 

I could not describe the moment when I heard the voice. I gathered all my strength and greeted her, "Merry Christmas."

Unfortunately, the line went off after 20 seconds. I wondered why, but she immediately texted me that her mobile battery was weak. 

I could not understand my feelings after that short conversation. I was happy to hear her voice, but I felt something more. 

Then, my tears began to fall. I could not control it. I tried to stop it; but it was dripping hard. 

Crying was not my thing when I miss someone. It was no ordinary feeling. It was love.

Love is About Waiting

I got scared when I finally realized that I was falling in love with Dianne because too many risks are involved. 

A week after my shortest phone conversation with her, my best friend and I met. He told me that he was also falling for Dianne. I did not know what to do that time. It was just crazy!

I cried a lot during that moment. I was not jealous. I was just uncomfortable and anxious of what was going to happen. 

I knew that I had to choose yet it was irrational to choose love over friendship and choose friendship over love. I would never win a race against my best friend. 

There was always a 50-50 chance that I would get hurt if I would tell Dianne at once.

"Apart from intelligence, two things are important in life- that is, friendship and bravery," This is one of the most unforgettable lessons I learned from watching Harry Potter movies and it's the nicest thing I got to do. 

No matter how I wanted to deny it, friendship should go hand-in-hand with love. If I am courageous enough to tell Dianne that I am falling for her, my best friend had also the right to know.

Newton and I agreed that we would talk after his graduation. I never informed him that it was about Dianne because it would surely upset him.

I never had a man-to-man serious talk in my life except with my dad. However, I did it for love. 

Newton was somehow furious when I told him about the situation. But there was no room for fears that time. I explained to him the details why and how it all began. 

The talk was awkward, but we somehow came up with better solutions.

When I went home that night, I phoned Dianne. I sensed that she knew why I wanted to see her. 

Our conversation took almost a minute or two and we agreed to meet on a Wednesday. 

I was overjoyed when I hung up the phone. I was excited, but I could not deny that I could also be brokenhearted.

March 28, 2007- around quarter to six in the evening, Dianne arrived at our meeting place. 

She brought Karen, our high school friend, with her. I was just spellbound the first second I saw her. She was undoubtedly beautiful! 

But I need to do what I have to do no matter what. I came up with a good story to give her the poem. 

The story was a lie, but it was a good story though. I was guilty when I did it, but it was the easiest excuse leading to telling her the truth. 

I could not describe my feelings when she read the poem. After reading the poem, I had a sudden feeling that something not good would happen. 

However, I still talked to her no matter how tormenting it is to understand her decision.

"You're just a brother to me."

I had no idea why she has to say this. I appreciate the candor but please to remind that we are not biologically connected. 

Therefore, the validity of saying it is irrational. Peace.

"Can we just be friends?"

Why say these words when it was evident that we can be friends? 

It was quite insulting to hear it, but I now understand what it meant.

"I'm not ready."

Anyone could understand the logic behind this. It is a cliff-hanger answer, and it is the most reasonable response of all.

Realizations

"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind; and therefore, is wing'd Cupid painted blind." 

- Shakespeare

Love is an endless cycle of mystery. People say that love is blind. 

Some say love is patient and others firmly believed that love is a mutual feeling.

It is complicated to be screwed when you are in love. Much crazier when you are involved in a love triangle with your best friend. 

No matter what we say and what we believe, love is just everything; therefore, love is also worth fighting for.

I do not necessarily know the objective behind the love I have invested for Dianne. I do not know why I like her. 

We have no proximity at all. We do not talk every day. As I see it, she is like a typical beautiful girl every man is searching for. 

Yet, there is something genuine 'bout her that I can no longer put in written words.

My mind has a lot of confusing questions, but my heart says that I love her. 

I can think of many reasons why I should not love her, but I can only feel the breath of emotion why she completes me.

Everything happens for a reason and what is the main reason behind my love for her? Only time knows. 

Opening a new perplexing chapter in our life is an unpredictable risk I can take. If friendship is the only best thing she could offer to me now, then that is completely fine with me. 

Maybe the song which entitled My Boo is right, "Even though there's another man in her life, I'll be always her boo."

Yet, I am not closing my doors. If waiting is the last thing I could do, I will do it. There are billions of beautiful, gorgeous girls in this world but she's the only one who could bring out the best in me. My friend, my love, my everything.

What goes around comes around. 

Maybe, she will give me another chance, maybe not. 

Maybe, I am moving on, maybe I cannot. 

I am not a great believer of luck, but no matter what I believe in, no matter what people conditioned me to believe, one thing is for sure:

Fate is still behind everything.