Saturday, September 6, 2008

The Benefit of the Doubt

Do you feel frustrated with the imperfections of life? I am sure you are and believe me, I am not only frustrated with my life but I am sometimes like digging my own grave just to survive my agonies.

That's life anyway, what can we do? There are a lot of questions and doubts. It seems that our time and effort to earn money in eight hours during the weekdays is not enough. There are several detours we need to go through and no matter who you'll become, even you're the most richest man in the world, you are still imperfect.

No one is perfect, we are all aware of this but why are we still seeking for more? Why we can't just be contented and have the the time of our life everyday?

The answer: I don't know why. In my twenty-four years of existence, my life as a handicap has been a rough one. I didn't grow as a normal kid who can play sports with my family and friends. I am somehow a product of a family where the line of communication is dry. This is probably the reason why questions and doubts are in my mind all the time. There's even a time that I asked God why I am still alive when my life seems useless and I was planning to end it with a knife on my chest.

That's the way my life is. You can't blame me for my misfortunes. Sometimes, I live my life with the best gameplan I can have but sometimes, it feels like I am simply lost and wants to sleep to forget all the dilemmas.

That's life and you need to survive it! You always have doubts in your mind. Sometimes, you feel you have won something and at times, you are screwed. Truth is, doubts might be the secret ingredient in life to keep our spirits alive. God is trying to tell us that life without doubts has no benefits but if you are in doubt, you are crossing bridges and you'll go far.

Question is, why you always hate imperfections and self-doubts? Don't you realize that these "pain realities" as what we call it are the reason why we are alive? If you have doubts, it means you have something to lose and if you feel afraid, it means you are on your way to maturity and there's still a time to correct your mistakes.

Life is probably the hardest game we must play. Doubts, doubts and doubts: there will be doubts as long as we are alive and these doubts may rip you off or not, these still have benefits.

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