Detecting Poor Self-esteem

Self-esteem is an important aspect of life. It is like a vessel that keeps you going on with the ups and downs of life. To tell you the truth, it is very impossible to have a meaningful life without boosting the level of your self-esteem.

How will you know if you are suffering from poor self-esteem? Before I will answer that question, let me define what is self-esteem.

Basically, self-esteem refers to the value of respect you award to yourself. This is also about your feelings and opinions on how you will evaluate yourself in the world. In fact, your self-esteem comes in several levels. It might be high, healthy, low or drastically low.

Now, if you don't value yourself that much and you tend to patronize your abilities, there's no need for you to doubt that you tend to have a poor self-esteem. Having a poor self-esteem is as similar as drinking a poison. You are living in a topsy-turvy world and whatever you do, you feel worthless.

Some indications of poor self-esteem: (the following details are taken from an article written by Abhishek Agarwal in Ezine)

1) Feeling of not being cherished and respected by anyone

2) Feeling of extreme jealousy

3) Sense of dependence on other for everything

4) Loss of decision making abilities

5) Displaying excessive anger

6) Always under the pressure to over achieve

7) Need for everything to be always nothing less than perfect

8) Worrying too much

9) Shying away from trying out anything new, especially from taking any sort of risks

10) Frustration

11) Feeling of helplessness at not being able to understand or describe feelings

12) Poor performance at workplace or school

The Cause of Poor Self-esteem

What's the cause of having a poor self-esteem? Is it fair to blame yourself if you have a crack self-esteem?

In some cases, self-esteem is not only about you but is about everything that surrounds you. If your family is criticizing you for every little mistake you do, then you begin to question several whats and whys. For this reason, you will grow as a confused and submissive child with a shattered self-esteem.

Truth is, the home is the place where one's own self-esteem is developed. The type of family you have affects the level of your self-esteem. So, if you think you are suffering from poor self-esteem, begin analyzing what kind of family background you have. Try studying the personality of your dad, your mom and your siblings and understand their strengths and their weaknesses. If you will do this, you'll seem to know why your self-esteem is low.

Another huge factor that affect the level of your self-esteem is your society. Your social environment refers to the kind of friends you have, the type of work you are into, what religion you are in, etc.

As what many experts say, the kind of environment you have is what you'll become. Whether you'll like it or not, there are good and bad things around you and you will be influenced to do things beyond your control. Sadly, when you have a poor self-esteem, you are easily swayed away from what you believe is right. For instance, if you have friends and they are offering you prohibited drugs, it's so hard to say no probably because you can no longer generate good decisions for yourself.

Balancing Your Self-esteem

There is no 100% good self-esteem but you can always balance it. Your self-esteem is like a seesaw. It doesn't mean that if you have a healthy self-esteem, you will be invincible from the frustrations of life.

When your self-esteem is low or poor, your sense of sensitivity is high. That means, you will become paranoid. You will regularly hear negative voices in your mind, making you feel lonely and vulnerable.

On the other hand, when you have a high self-esteem, your sense of sensitivity might be low. In this case, you will act as if you're the perfect person in the world. You will be described as insensitive, tactless and conceited.

How To Boost Your Self-esteem?

Boosting one's own self-esteem is not easy. It's a process and you need to be consistent in it. Improving one's own self-esteem can depend on the type of physical appearance you have. It's proven that having a good physique results to healthy self-esteem. But if you are healthy but you still have poor self-esteem, something might be wrong with your emotional upbringing.

In this case, you need to change the way you think. The human mind is very powerful. It can play tricks on you and puts your self-esteem at risk. As what Rick Warren wrote in his phenomenal book entitled The Purpose Driven Life, "THE WAY YOU THINK DETERMINES THE WAY YOU FEEL AND THE WAY YOU FEEL INFLUENCES THE WAY YOU ACT."

See the point? The human mind is always connected with the emotions and deeds. Everything starts in the mind and if you will learn how to control the way you think, the level of your self-esteem will be fine.

In addition to that, there are many self-esteem test online. Feel free to answer them. If you want detailed explanation about your result, you can always consult registered psychologist near you.