My mind is like in an empty space right now. I don't exactly know why. My mind is revolving in things, which I can't really understand. I am so sick with this melancholy feeling. Why it has to be this way?
It was my 24th birthday last Wednesday. I thought I would be completely happy to celebrate it with my family and friends but I was wrong. I treat my family in an eat-all-you-can restaurant last Wednesday. On Thursday night (August 14), I went out with my psych friends and we had some good time. But, some things were beyond my control. I thought I would see someone but you just couldn't please everyone even how you try. There are several if, many excuses and it seems too much.
Why life seems unfair? Life can be so unpredictable. Life, whether I like or not, is still a drama. It's still incomplete. This is the end, I think. Everything is clear to me to now. Perhaps, I was really naive to believe in the concept of unconditional love and true friendship. Love is a delusion. There's no such thing as unconditional love, only perception. I might be so wrong to say it but this is what is happening right now. Stop denying it. Truth is, I was wasting my time to be a friend with someone who no longer wants to be my friend.
I can't do anything about it. I can't no longer fix the screws. What was the past will remain a memory. It will stay a memory and it's painful to think that I can't take it back. Like I said, I was really naive. Perhaps, it was my fault and no one has to be blamed except myself.
I learn my lessons well. Starting this day onwards, it's better to bruise myself off with work and money. Who doesn't want money anyway? Having a lot of money is way better than having a friend I thought I still have.
