The Verifiable Truth Behind Love

For the past few days, I've been busy posting articles on how to gain weight and I'm aware that some of my readers can't relate to it. For this reason, I've decided to post another entry this time and I want everyone can relate to it.

How about if we talk about love?

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What is love? How will you know if you are falling in love with someone? Are there any signs and symptoms of falling in love? Why do we fall in love?

There's no need for you to doubt that love seems complicated. It's hard to understand and you can't directly explain the mysteries behind it.

Many people believe you should not look for love but let love find you. Some says love is about time. Once the right time comes, love will just be right there like a thief in the night.

In that case, whether you're a poet, a shrink, a teacher, a computer programmer or whoever you are, you can say something fruitful about love. I know it's cheesy but it's probably the most cheesiest thing here on earth everyone wants to have.

Last night, I was reading this July 1980 edition of Reader's Digest and I found this interesting article about pathology of love written by Stanley L. Englebardt.

"Falling in love resembles what social scientists call imprinting." This statement is according to John Money. He is a professor of medical psychology at John Hopkins Medical School. To him, everyone has this innate element of love buried inside our soul. ".... There already exist within each of us certain standards that reflect our family life, background and, in some cases, ethnic or racial heritage. "

That means, "when you encounter a particular type of perceptual stimulus- someone who fits these preconceive notions of what you need in a wife or husband- there's a good chance you'll fall in love."

In Money's book entitled Love and Love Sickness: The Science of Sex, Gender Difference and Pair Bonding, he wrote "Falling in love is the experience of establishing a pair bond."

From what I understand, Money is trying to tell us that once you fall in love, the experience can be dramatic. Love is a process, you can either experience it unexpectedly (love at first sight) or the whole process is simply slow and gradual.

Money believed that if you are falling in love, "you are not falling in love with a person per se but with an idealized, subjective image that often diverges from the impression the loved ones makes on other people."

This is the reason why you tagged love as blind. Love can be blind but when it is excessive, it can also lead to frustration, hate and violence.

"Under the pressure of inevitable disillusionment, a pair-bond that results from blind love is bound to weaken..." Money commented.

Love has psychological and physiological components and in order to fight the weaknessess enveloping it, you need to understand that the top-secret to a successful relationship is complimentary pair-bonding.

"It's irrelevant whether the partners are replicas or polar opposites in temperament, interests, achievements or whatever, what counts is that they fulfill each other's projected image."

In fact, romantic love is at its peak during the two to three years of relationship that's why; each one of us must learn how to adjust the level of our expectations as the relationship blooms further.

Expectations can ruin relationship and adds up to your frustrations. The higher the level of your expectations are, the bigger chances of having depression.

(End of Part 1)