Attracting, Flirting and Dating: Which Comes First?

I wrote this long but insightful article for my previous client. I don't know where he is now but wherever you are Frank, I am posting this article here but no worries at all, I insert some links pointing back to your campaign niche.

Below is the uncut version of the article I am talking about.
Enjoy reading it as I enjoy writing it for Frank.

* * * * * * * *

There are episodes in life that you immediately say “I'm attracted to somebody because.....” You know what, this is already an old-school labeling that's been outdated for so long! If a scientist hears it, one can say that's a social assumption and not entirely based on logic. Attraction is expressed in different ways and psychologically, there are levels of attraction. These are physical, emotional, spiritual or sexual. For instance, you can say that a girl can be emotionally attracted to you if you've been a nice friend to her. Yet the sad truth is, she's not physically attracted to you and once you tell her you've fallen in love with her, you ended up screwing yourself when she said, “I think we should stay as friends.”

Attraction Means What?

Attraction may be a hard concept to explain. Basically, attraction is merely defined as an emotion. In social psychology, once a person is tagged as attractive or not, the human mind creates sets of assumptions and these assumptions are foist-off to somebody, either consciously or subconsciously. In some places, “what's beautiful is assumed to be good.” Attractive people are assumed to be more extroverted, popular, and happy, whereas unattractive people may or may not possess these traits.

I'm not sure if that's true but it may be possible but not entirely probable (with evidences). There are still instances that gorgeous women may be attracted to nerd guys, which only reveals that all these cheesy things can happen no matter how opposite they are.

When There's Attraction, There's Flirting

When someone is attracted to someone, this is when flirting comes in. Reality is, attraction and flirting must be balanced. Flirting is nice and feels good. Girls are usually perceived to be more flirt but are you aware that boys are great flirts, as well? Of course, everyone can be a flirt. Each one of us need to learn the art of flirting to attract someone. As a matter of fact, flirting is the key to a good relationship. Truth is, it feels awkward to flirt but this is a good way to leash out our pleasurable instincts.


Flirting is done in several ways. Women can flirt using their gestures. Some says that when a girl is twirling her hair beside or in front of a guy, it signals attraction. If she's stroking her chest or leg, she's trying to seduce someone and daydreaming of some sizzling action in bed. The eyes also play a vital role in flirting. As they say, the eye seems to be the golden mirror of inner desires. If a girl smiles and looks away, it reveals infatuation. The downward glance may mean shyness. No signs of eye contact indicates boredom or no interest at all.

Men flirt in different way. When he's displaying his receptive body language in front of a girl, it typically signifies chemistry. When he's massaging any piece of his clothing, he's probably thinking of sensual matters. When men flirt, it doesn't necessary mean that he's into a deeper angle of commitment and ready to tie the knot with someone. Oftentimes, it's their way of showing attraction and foreplay, which can either take into higher elevation of passion or barely just that plain Oh-geez-I-like-you connection.

So, what's next? When there's an attraction, flirting comes in and when these two elements are fused into one fine matter, that's the right timing for dating.

Attraction + Flirting = Dating

Dating comes in different forms. Online dating is ideally the famous type of dating among the younger generation. Of course, it's easy, fast and most of the sites are for free. But do you know that another popular style of dating is mobile dating? Filipinos are simply crazy about this. They send text messages to people they like. These text messages may be in a form of a quote or a simple hello. They say that mobile dating seems effective because it stirs the emotions when you need it the most.


Some countries practice speed dating. This is done in public areas wherein a group of people will socialize with each other for a certain period of time. At one core, people involved in speed dating will sit together, mingle for a while then at a predetermined time, these people change partners and repeat the process all over again. This type of dating is practiced in UK, in Canada and in the US.

There's also the virtual dating for the online-gamers out there. Like online dating, these virtual people use avatars to meet other avatars and meet for a date. It's similar to regular date wherein two individuals meet in a place, the only difference is it's done online.

Lastly, there's this weird affair known as single's events. What's weird about this is, a group of singles are brought together to participate in several events such as parties, workshops and games to meet new people.

Ideally, dating is about chemistry. The unfolding of a new leaf of attraction that can result to a deeper and sincere relationship. Truth is, communication is the only overt inevitable way to heighten the chemistry between two people. When two people extends their conversation during the date, it dramatically deepens the mutual ambiance.

I'm not an expert to give you further advices on dating. The wounds of my unfortunate fate are not yet healed. It can go away but it still leaves a mark of confusion. What I can only say is, the best thing you can do when you feel you're screwing yourself on a date is- Just keep your pace up high and take things slow! Most importantly, clear your throat and talk.

Photos courtesy of:
www.buzzle.com
millionhundred.wordpress.com
www.datingrelationship.org
www.timtim.com
shine.yahoo.com
www.progressdaily.com