I Know You Can, Not You Should

Which is better? Should you do it? or Can you do it?

In plain English, should is a command. It expresses conditions used to give advises to do something. Whereas can refers to the ability to do something. See the difference? Can is way therapeutic than should. "can" gives us the options rather than the "rules to follow." Why say "you should do it" when you can say "you can do it?"

These days, whether you agree or disagree, many people are fond of giving advises. "You Should do this and that," "You should know better," "You should learn how to..." these should-lines are very familiar to you, right? And at times, listening to these should-lines can be very irritating. Do you know why? It's chiefly because "should" leashes out our right to make our own decisions. No one is perfect but it doesn't mean that we are not capable of making decisions for ourselves.

Here's the catch: The ethics in psychology reveals that you advise ONLY IF someone asks for it. Never use the word "should," especially if you are talking with a person diagnosed with profound depression. To them, "Should" is a coercion, confining them in a room with no air.

Have you realized that the most special gift we received from God is the power of choice? Then how can use our power of choice if we regularly use the word "should?" This is the reason why I hate myself when I use the word "should." Life is not a command, it's a choice to live.

Reality is, all of us commit mistakes but we CAN always learn from our own mistakes and if you think you can, you simply can do it.